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The Single’s Guide to Valentines Day – Duck vs Swan

Another Valentine’s day has come and gone. Being single, it’s always interesting to note what such a day brings up for me and my single friends. For many, they will get to consider whether they are the ugly duckling or a swan, just like in the story. Which are you?

For me, it’s a great way to work on the most important relationship in my life – the one with myself.

This year I thought that I’d make a day of it and spoil myself!

Step 1 – an extra half an hour in bed to read – and feeling good about it.

Step 2 – off for breakfast and a note pad to write out my to do list, taking time to slow down and really taste my food.

Step 3 – a walk in the park, on what was a lovely, sunny day for mid- February. Use this opportunity to phone some friends who I haven’t been in touch with for a while (always an uplifting experience.)

Step 4 - go home and do all of the tasks that I had been putting off for ages (I know that incomplete tasks drain energy but do no always use this information wisely. Today I did.)

Step 5 – notice how much more energised I feel by completing those draining tasks that I had been putting off and by catching up with positive people who always energise my day.

Step 6 – off for another walk and more of the same.

Step 7 - off to the gym, noticing that everything seems easier today. Add an extended period for the sauna, where I get chatting to new people and have a laugh.

Step 8 – back home to sing (I use this term in its broadest context!) and dance to music as I make my dinner.

Step 9 – sit back and relax to a few episodes of the West Wing.

Step 10 – meditation, reflecting on a good day, where I am grateful for my health, my family, my friends and the magic life brings when I really love myself.

Step 11 – fall asleep giving myself an energetic massage.

I am not always as kind to myself as I was yesterday but it has made me realise that for anyone who is single, indeed also for anyone who is not – the best relationship that anyone can work on is the one with themselves.

Ultimately, if I don’t love myself, how could I possibly love someone else in a way that accepts that EVERYONE has their imperfections. When the rose tinted glasses finally come off in a relationship, this is when the ability to love oneself is integral to being able to live with, and love, anyone else. I have been tough on myself on many occasions – not yesterday and not today.

When I master this on a daily basis, I will have found the perfect relationship.

I may not be a swan everyday, but I am today.

What can you do to love yourself better?

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